Linda II Pulls a Double Shift
Author
Richard Kemner
Date Published

Linda II Pulls a Double Shift
Special 12 — National Coffee Day, September 29

National Coffee Day was still five days out, and Linda II — the break room's chrome twin-group espresso machine, rescued off a Bayshore curb, named after Gary's wife under circumstances the whole yard has agreed never to fully explain again — did not know what hit her.
Gary had decided, unilaterally and with great enthusiasm, that the celebration should start early and last the whole week. "Rehearsal," he called it. "You don't want opening night to be the first time she's ever pulled a real crowd."
By 4:31 AM Monday, there was a line. An actual line, out the break room door, mechanics and dispatchers and one very confused new hire holding a thermos he did not know he needed to bring.
Gary, Barista

Gary appointed himself barista for the week. Nobody appointed him. He simply arrived Monday in an apron that said "RDK" in the same white swoosh as the trucks, procured from absolutely nowhere anyone can trace, and started taking orders like the yard had become a competing coffee chain.
He wrote them on his forearm in pen because the order pad "felt like overkill for twelve people."
Ralph ordered black, same as always, and got a small paper cup with "RALPH — BLACK — DO NOT MESS THIS UP" written on it in Gary's handwriting, which was, in fact, correct, in an upset of expectations nobody saw coming.

Russ ordered something with four words in it that Gary had never heard of and made twice, out of spite, until it came out right.
The Real Linda Weighs In

Word travels fast in this family, and by Wednesday, the real Linda showed up at the yard unannounced, took one look at the line, one look at the apron, and ordered a cortado without explaining what that was to anyone.
Gary made it. He had, it turned out, been practicing.
Linda took one sip, standing at the pass-through window while eleven yard employees pretended very hard not to watch, and gave a single nod — the same nod she's given exactly twice before in the recorded history of their marriage, both times over cooking.
"It's good," she said. "Don't let it go to your head."
"Too late," Gary said. "Everything about that machine already went to my head. That's the whole story."
Opening Night, Extended All Week

By Tuesday, National Coffee Day proper, the yard had gone through eleven pounds of beans, four gallons of milk, and one entire spool of paper cups Ralph had to drive out for at lunch. Linda II hissed and steamed and pulled shot after shot without one single complaint, because if there is one thing that machine understands, it is being needed.
RDK Truck Sales · Tampa, Florida
Happy National Coffee Day from RDK Truck Sales. However you take yours — black, fancy, or steamed by a man in a swoosh apron who has no business being this good at it — we hope it starts your morning right.
Gary, Russ, Ralph, Linda, and Linda II are affectionate fiction. The yard going through eleven pounds of coffee beans in one week is, regrettably, a documented fact.
Call (813) 241-0711
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